Exhibit c001: THE PLAYERS
Cats, to the best of my knowledge, have very little understanding
of the specifics of human language. (they are more responsive
to tone and intent, i think. you can tell a cat you love it but, if
you make sure to waggle a finger, raise your voice a bit, and flavor
it with some ire, you can still send it cowering into a dark corner
of a room, its head heavy with guilt. maybe humans and cats aren't so
different after all.) This allows one total freedom in choosing a name.
And here are the names I've chosen:
MISS CHOO CHOO COLEMAN
This name was actually donated by a friend, but it struck me as completely appropriate. She shares the name with a retired professional baseball player but this is a bit of trivia that eluded me for a long time. I liked the name because it has several nickname opportunities ("Chooch", "Coleman", "Choochie", "Lady C", "Madame Coleman of the Choo Choo Brigade", "Liza Coleman Manelli"). But, more importantly, Choo Choo Coleman sounds like the stage name of a go-go dancer at a bar frequented by rough trade or a drag performer with ripped nylons. That's my Choo Choo.
BLE (pronounced "Bill")
Much to the chagrin of friends, family and her veterinarian, Ble is every bit a lady. Her name is actually short for "The Incredible", which is also short for "The Incredible, Inedible Cat." I had considered naming her "Maximillian" because she has a tiny black (ass)hole, but I was talked out of it by concerned parties. Ble always looks insane. This photograph is failry representative, I'm afraid.
With names like these, I'm well aware that I'm off to a questionable start.