lately, masturbation has become increasingly difficult. i still remember
(vaguely) what to do. however, since i added a second cat to my repertoire, there
is virtually no place to hide from their open disdain toward my masturbation rituals.
my apartment is small and with one cat this was a problem only occasionally. if she were
in the bedroom, i would masturbate in front of the television. if she got restless
and walked into the living room while i was in the middle of masturbating, i would
just apologize, stop, and take a long walk.
now, with a second cat, i've more than doubled my chances of being caught. within a
few seconds of lighting a stick of 'black love' incense and delicately unfastening
my housecoat, one or both cats will find their way to me, sniffing about, blocking
my view of the designing women tape i've cued up, or just giving me that 'hell
isn't liberal enough to embrace your sins' look that housecats have nearly perfected as
a species. as a result, i spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom of my