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favorite son

three the hard way

pornography: god's little miracle

paradise island

from russia with love, without limbs

letter from the editor

the man who loved cat dancing

mystery tran

sexus, plexus, nexxus humectress

spank my wife - please!

love: say it with flowers, cryptic letters, and a high-powered rifle

premature ejaculation: the quick and the sleepy

porn in the USA

catch socks: vials of life

pigs in an afghan: sex at your parents' house

sissy porn and the single man

the great leap backwards

buyer beware

public demonstration and other inalienable rights

armed to the teeth: shooting blanks in disco heaven

remembering the has-been millennium

si j'executais le zoo

stoop to conquer

analyze this...please

portrait of the artist as a young no-talent

naughty girls need love too

i'll have what she's having

if i only had a brain

to the lite house

modern health

bruce springsteen and the death of cool


my dinner with me

wild in the streets

straw dog


dear diary - and shrugging off of irony

joining the mod squad

specially selected digital versions of record reviews culled from this alternative weekly paper, out of multiple cities across our wide nation.

"using the force" - feature story about afu-ra

missy elliott - "under construction" record review

the x-ecutioners - "built from scratch" record review

n*e*r*d - "in search of" record review

cornelius - "point" record review

dmx - "the great depression" record review


"the rules of attraction" - film review

"friday after next" - film review

"house of 1000 corpses - film review"

huis clos partie deux: no exit, act II

that darn drunk!


highlights from a sea of editorial (i.e. paid and not crazy-customer) music reviews that would feel funny cataloguing entirely.

word, sound, power

notorious b.i.g. "ready to die" record review

they might be giants "flood" record review

pras "ghetto superstar" record review

pete rock and cl smooth "mecca and the soul brother" record review

b-52s "cosmic thing" record review

ll cool j "phenomenon" record review


dealing with it - when it gets hectic: how to make time for everything [link no longer available]

check it - your first date date

love rocks: mix tapes 2000

cooking instructions for a grillside romance


modern humorist - 'poster boy'

mcsweeney's - 'today the toll-booth attendant felt chatty

request magazine - 'room self-service' (my journey to an hourly rate motel) [link no longer available] - 'token male' april 2002 (male vanity) - 'token male' september 2001 ( meeting notes)

jest magazine - 'a near-perfect game of mad libs'

the morning news – 'the great pupkin'

the onion – 'say something funny'

fresh yarn - 'my racist aunt' [originally appeared in rougher form on]

fresh yarn – 'a man of great principles'

after dinner - 'my sickness'

tattle tales - 'the little boner that changed the boy'


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read the archives, please. does that make me gay? meet the author, more or less. this is the email link you were perhaps looking for