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Right on the heels of returning from my hometown, this story was brought to my attention. In summary, a local lawyer was arrested - torn from his stuffed baked potato and jiggly friestm at the food court - for wearing a "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" T-shirt he'd purchased in the mall. Really? Just for wearing the T-shirt? I can understand a great deal of human stupidity, but I can't imagine why someone would arrest a man for wearing a peacenik T-shirt. UNLESS! Is that all he was wearing? Was this citizen Porky-Pigging it in the mall? The details are still hazy.

The mall security officers ordered this peace-loving and shirt-buying dissenter remove the shirt and justified their demand by comparing the shopping mall to "a private home" where Mr. Wavy Gravy was acting poorly. A private home? Filled with cops? Where baked potato fixins are free? Sign me up!

I was actually in this very same mall over the weekend, visiting my folks. (who rent a room out of this private home, on the second floor, right next to "Hot Topic") There is a store in the mall called "As Seen on TV" where you can actually purchase all of the horrible things advertised on television. That is the only unifying theory behind the store, and I love it. I spent the afternoon there and, in retrospect, I'm glad I escaped persecution. Perhaps I was legally protected by my "KILL EM ALL AND LET GOD SORT EM OUT LATER" jersey and "RAPE-A-HOLIC" cardigan.

WE FIRST MET ON 03.05.2003

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