I was thinking of posting this to Craigs List but wonder if maybe it will do more good here.
I have a problem. Well, it's a good problem to have, I suppose, but even luck sometimes balances itself with misfortune. You see, I recently switched careers. It's not that I wasn't happy as an editor for So Best Bride magazine – the people were a little high-maintenance if you know what I mean ;), and the hours were tres long but the parties were BRILL! It's just that an opportunity presented itself and I grabbed it. My friends say I'm very "Miranda" in that way. Whatevs. The heart wants what the heart wants, and the pocketbook wants it even more. (Shoe shopping! Hello??? Anyway, the next round of Mango-tinis is on moi!)
Sooo...I totally *heart* my new job as a field corresondent for the E! Entertainment (Spanish) news network. I'm totally out there, in the field – and totally playing the field. (NIGHTMARE!) I never imagined myself as a real correspondent and, honestly, now I can't imagine myself as anything else. (Except married! JK - not really. No, seriously, JK!! But my ring finger is freeeezing! AND SO IS MY UTERUS! Ew! TMI, right? JK. But for serious, though, why do I meet so many assholes? JK! sigh. K.) But here's the problem. Yes, I'm a correspondent but I only have EDITOR PANTS. Ack!
Is it wrong that I feel like a phony? I know I must sound totally paranoid but I feel like other people in my "industry" just have a hard time taking me seriously. Just today my boss was trying to pick someone to cover a roja carpet event for the film Diario de una Mujer Negra Enojada and I was totally all over it. But then my boss kinda looked at me sideways and said, "For serious, I personally think you'd be awesome, but for this event we're kinda looking for someone who is a little less 'Straight and Sexy' and a little more 'Curvy and Sexy,' you know?" Not that you're not sexy – I would totally fuck you!! – but maybe just a little too 'editory'?"
I so badly wanted to correct her and tell her that 'editory' isn't even a word and I would know because – hello? – I used to be an editor, but I was afraid that would just further count against me. Plus, it's not like I needed to throw around my particular area of experience and expertise; all they had to do was look at my stupid pants. duh.
I was devastated – it was like 9/11 times 911 – but I tried to play it cool. However, ten minutes later, there I was, in the bathroom, throwing up my lunch – some days, with food, I just want the taste but not the carbs, you know? – and then, ten minutes after that, I was crying. Crying like a baby editor on my f-wording pants – my career-pigeonholing pants.
So here's what I was thinking: maybe there could be an online swap service where other career-oriented people who go through professional changes can sort of, I don't know, exchange pants? Isn't that kind of brill? I was IMing with a friend today and she thought so:
Editrixxx (I know! I need to change this!!): so i was thinking...
buffy98763: hale & hearty 2day? BROC CHEDDAR!
Editrixxx: totals. but i was also thinking - what if we made a web site where we could exchange career pants?
See? Anyway, I just think – and sorry to get preachy – that we should not be limited (ohmygod kill me for that pun!) by our tailored slacks. We need to the freedom of movement from one career to another, without restriction, and without uncomfortable binding. And a pants-swap would do the trick. Not that I'm a feminist or anything – I HATE feminists.