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HOW TO EAVESDROP, EPISODE 653.

I first learned about my favorite local coffee shop through a friend in AA. (To clarify, she is a friend, and she is in AA. I am not in AA, so she is not my "friend in AA." We met in a store, when we both grabbed for the same discounted double-headed black dildo at the same time. She tugged her way, I tugged mine, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. We've been fast friends ever since. Again, just to clarify.) Apparently, because the coffee is so strong, it attracts a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous members and Narcotics Anonymous members. (but hopefully no Coffee Is Too Delicious For Words Anonymous members) While in treatment, addictive personalities tend to transfer their addictions into other places — caffeine, nicotine, God, etc. — and this coffee shop is the caffeine equivalent to the crack houses so dearly missed.

Because the shop is sprinkled with recovering addicts, you get to overhear lots of choice dialogue, due in large part to the rhetoric addicts learn while in AA/NA. Like today, I heard a guy sit down with a female friend of his and declare, "I've got a mini-problem." Later, I heard this: "...arrogance, zealotry, rage…and a bunch more..."

Also, yes, I am looking straight ahead, over the shoulder of a large, well-dressed black man working away at his laptop. His screen, which is strategically angled away from the two young women seated next to him (running lines for a play), has been displaying web page after web page of oiled, black female asses stuffed into lingerie. Progress.

WE FIRST MET ON 01.26.2006

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