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I never intended to have my parents seated in the audience while one of my friends stood onstage and cheerfully referred to me as "cum dump." (A nickname he claimed to have given me long before our now regular deep-arm fisting sessions.) But, on Wednesday night, that's exactly what happened. They also got to hear a long study on why my trademark motto is, "It's All Pink Inside"; they saw pictures of Bob Powers, stretched out on his couch, wearing nothing but a housecat and a coffee mug; heard a lovingly detailed description of the death of beloved character actor, Albert Dekker, whose body was found chained to a shower rod, with a homemade ball gag in his mouth, plus the words "WHIP" written in lipstick on on buttock and "MAKE ME SUCK" lipsticked across his throat.

How to Kick People was a really fun time, and thanks to everyone who came out for it or put into it. (And apologies to the audience member who was dragged onstage to sing karaoke along with a "porno-ized" version of lyrics from Islands In The Stream. I hope you've received your gift by now.) I really want to post the slideshow of show photos Lisa presented at the show, but for now here are a couple of photos from the anniversary show, taken by Ben of

dan allen performs
Dan Allen curses God for the handjobs he will never get to give.

andres du bouchet and forced volunteer performing 'my jeans full of cream'
Andres du Bouchet performing "My Jeans Full Of Cream" with barely-willing audience volunteer.

our harpist'
Our harpist, Claraliz.

me, reading my parents' new wedding vows
Me, as de-frocked priest Gabriel Darkness, helping my parents renew their wedding vows.

all is forgiven
All is forgiven in the Levin family.

chris regan with friend
Chris Regan with close, personal friend.

BONUS MATERIAL: There were several "karaoke" binders in the audience, meticulously designed by Bob Powers. Tucked into their many pages were three or four full pages of "Pornaoke" titles—famous pop songs with their lyrics and titles 'porno-ized'—that were created in a fit of stupidity by Bob, myself, and Giant Tuesday Night's Andres du Bouchet and Johnny Fido. Here is that list, re-printed.

WE FIRST MET ON 02.24.2006

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