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If you missed the premiere of VH-1's "I Love New York," a spin-off of VH-1's "Flava of Love," this is what it sounded like when New York finally gathered her gentleman callers around and announced which of them would be staying for the next episode, and which ones would be sent home in a cloud of Arctic Jizz Blast Axe Body Spray and disappointment.

"There are 20 of y'all, but only 15 of you are good enough for New York. Now, I have consulted with my crazy-ass mother and my flamboyantly gay Puerto Rican manservant, Chamo, and I'm prepared to make my picks. The following men will stay: Romance, T-Bone, Partytime, Whiteboy, Moneybags, Harvard, Dead Leg, Jingle Bells, Ms. Pac-Man, Beard of Bees, Cold Sore, Stomach On The Outside, Razzmataz, Dr. Dracula, and The People's Republic of Pantystank. You all have much love for New York, and we can marinate together a little longer.

"And I'm going to have to say goodbye to the rest of you: Asian Ray Romano, French Onion Dip, Sir Chomps-a-Lot, Involuntary Rectal Exam, and Cancerdick. Seeya, and wouldn't want to be ya."

WE FIRST MET ON 01.09.2007

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