I'm really looking forward to visiting the Bronx Zoo this summer:

There's a great moment in the MSNBC video where the reporter says, "thankfully, the chimp dropped the rifle." I love that he suggests this story had the potential for a killing spree. Given what I know of chimp behavior (EVERYTHING), I would guess that if the chimp hadn't dropped the rifle, the most likely scenario would have been a licking-and-chewing-on-rifle spree. Quit trying to scare us, MSNBC! Do your homework. You know apes only know how to do a few things:

1. eat stuff (bananas, rifles)
2. swing around on stuff
3. grin and sometimes flap lips to let you know it's time to laugh
4. give old ladies the finger
5. punch bad guys in the face
6. play dead when you shoot them with a finger gun
7. be dead when you shoot them with a metal and bullets gun
8. run a fancy hotel
9. disappoint film critics and box office expectations

That's pretty much it, except maybe enslave the human race, too...uh oh! SOMEONE CALL MSNBC!!!