'I REMEMBER BEING BORN;
AND THEN THE TROUBLE BEGAN.'
In any personal web site, the section I read first is the one
with all the personal information - the "about" section.
Not coincidentally, it's also my least favorite section to compose,
and for all the same reasons I love to read that kind of information
on other people's sites. I am real (as far as I can tell) and
I like to know that other individuals who choose to hoist themselves
online are also real. I like catching details of other people's
bedrooms in the backgrounds of photos. I like knowing their zodiac
signs, and hearing about how much they think Vertical Horizon
rocks it. But sharing my own friends, or my not-so-secret love
for Vertical Horizon and The Onion and Google.com? It terrifies
I had considered placing something smug and nonsensical (in the
style of 'wacky' - where crazy, inconceiveable personal details
are included, written in some hackneyed, referential media byline
style) but then it occurred to me that I'm not even clever enough
to make that a useful exercise. Then I considered cutting myself
and smearing the blood across my computer screen but I think that
might not successfully reach everyone. That said, here is a small
shitheap of true and personal such and sundry.
THE VERY NEUROTIC ME
If I were you, before becoming too distracted, I would rub
this spot to make your way through an abridged tour of my own
personal history of neuroses. It may leave you feeling sick - that
feeling is perfectly normal. I experienced it the entire time I
composed this section.
THE HARPER'S INDEX OF ME
If anxiety spooks you, you might enjoy
this short personal timeline. I hope it includes enough information
to make you feel slightly more intimate with me, without causing
you to experience the impulse to wash your hands or have your eyes
put out that is generally associated with becoming my intimate.
THE STORY OF TREMBLE.COM IS THE STORY OF ME
This site has been around a long time, since the days of tilde personal
pages. Since before weblogs, and parodies of weblogs. I'm grateful
that most of the people who knew it from the very beginning are
dead now. In their absence, here is all I remember.