Exhibit c005: DISCIPLINE AND ORDER, PART III
With Ble and Miss Choo Choo Coleman it is has become difficult,
if not impossible, to achieve perfect order in two specific places:
My Kitchen and Their Bowels.
Once the food hits the floor, the real trouble begins.
When Ble first arrived, interrupting Colemans kitchen exclusivity,
I was forced to separate their feedings because of eruptions of inter-cat
violence. Later, Ble would eat whichever meal was first served, and
because Colemans behavior leans more toward passive-aggression
than real feline aggression, she would allow this to happen while staring
at me, wide-eyed, and treating me to an endless mewl. This mewl was
in addition to the aforementioned weeping, and had a slightly different
pitch it was noticeably mournful.
Finally, things evened out a bit, but lately a new wrinkle
has developed. I was under the false impression that I actually had
two cats, including one obese cat, who were comfortable with their own
meals and were totally uninterested in food poaching; I was wrong. Coleman
has developed a new habit. She will nibble at her food, knowing Ble
is totally uninterested in a bowl of dry adult kibble, and then hang
out a foot or so behind Ble as she feeds. As soon as Ble has had her
fill, Coleman will move in and finish it up. I almost didnt notice
this. Now that I have, Im still not sure what to do. Its
funny and pathetic to me, but it still seems very unfair. Realizing
my squirt gun is probably not the appropriate course of action, I have
come up with a temporary plan. I beg and plead with Coleman to leave
the kitchen, telling her that she is behaving poorly. Please!
This is just too much, Coleman. You have all that food! Why wont
you just go??? Why, oh why? Sometimes I try to pick her up and
move her, thinking her attention span will be so short that shell
quickly forget why she was in the kitchen to begin with. And sometimes
this works. Its slightly more dignified than being on my knees,
begging her to find something else to do. However, wearing a giant diaper
and baby bonnet would be slightly more dignified than that, too.