I don’t know why Ble cannot keep her ass clean. In fact, I have grown to believe it’s really not a question of “can” or “cannot”; I just don’t think she wants to. Instead, she runs around my apartment with the filthiest little blast of ass you can possibly imagine. She just doesn’t attend to the area, ever. She cleans herself everywhere else, with acceptable regularity, but she just leaves that little spot alone. There’s no way to really understand it.

Ble is an adorable creature. Most people are quick to concede to this fact. When she is on your lap you cannot help but be totally pleased to see her coming toward you, moving in with face rubs and a low purr. However, seeing her leave is something else. You feel immediately cheated when you get that first blast of ass, and you feel resentful forever after.

Ble’s ass is an area where I’ve probably gone too far. (yes, i realize the ambiguity of that statement.) Lately, whenever she becomes placid enough to be picked up and dragged all over the apartment, I will bring her to my bathroom and take a human-sized wad of toilet tissue to her brown spot. She doesn’t seem to mind and while the whole operation strikes me as sad and (ideally) unnecessary, I still take quiet pride in her sparkling new, clean asshole.

I wish Ble understood this kind of ass-related pride, but I suppose not much is to be expected from a creature that thinks Styrofoam peanuts are god’s gift to the animal kingdom.