AGE: 12
the summer camp slut breaks up with me after 24 hours of dating. we were on a field trip to the county fair and, despite her best efforts to get my arm around her waist at the sideshow, i felt it was just "too early". i am peremptorily dumped and spent the bus ride home staring at her three rows ahead of me, with some guy's arm around her. he had a mustache, i think. (and he was only 14)

last news i heard of her, she was having sex with her husband in a trailer in the middle of a busy shopping mall parking lot, live on FM radio. it was one of several trailers set up for a radio station contest - a sponsored race to be the first to conceive a "millennium baby".