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I used to love it when people in my high school and college would get all hissy over Valentine's Day and, quite deliberately, wear all black instead of a hot-pink jumpsuit with appliqué hearts all over it. (i wish i still fit into that jumpsuit. that settles it - i'm switching to snackwells. as if!!) It was all so tragic and unnecessary. Even now, in NYC, I think more people are having Anti-Valentine's Day parties than genuine Love-Ins. Maybe the rising tide of personal ad services and dating programming will make those anti-parties go away, and I can have my jumpsuit let out. But for now, I guess it's Goth pancake makeup, black cloaks and vampire teeth.

Here's something that isn't intended to bring you down. It's more of a warning. I woke up this morning with a very bad head concerning one very important romantic mess-up. It's weird, because it was something I was really philosophical about for a long time, but now that's given way to aches and pains and other things. It's also given way to song lyrics. I think my favorite song released last year was "Promising Light" by Iron & Wine. The entire album on which this song appears is soft and beautiful, but this song in particular has been under my skin for months. It's one of those "love in hindsight" songs, fraught with regret, and it breaks my heart every time I hear it. Here is a line from the chorus, which is sort of indicative of the rest of the song: "Now I see love, dragged on the floor where you walked outside / Now I see love, looking for you in another girl's eyes." In real life there are no do-overs so just be nice, OK?

p.s. I'm not soliciting funereal wreaths. I hope I didn't sound self-martyred here and if I did, it's only because sometimes I lack eloquence.

WE FIRST MET ON 02.14.2003

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