Just when you thought correspondence couldn't get more fractured, Blackberry delivers! When people switched from written correspondence to email, there were the usual complaints about clipped tone, telegraph-like punctuation, and weird emoticon-isms and acronyms. (My new favorite email and chat acronym, and the only one I ever use, is "NLOL!" [Not Laughing Out Loud] It of my own invention—as far as I know, since I do not attend this year's Emoticon-Con, where the latest and most complex reactive text symbols and abbreviated sentiments were unveiled. With Instant Messaging, it was more of the same, only shorter. Then txt messaging took it to a brand new level of economy of words, thanks to the patience-smashing predictive text feature on most cell phones.

Some would argue that Blackberry communique's aren't very different than txt messaging, but that's not true. With txt messaging, there is reflexive brevity. I txt you something like, "u up 4 tacos?" and you txt back, "kewl" and we are really reaching each other, you know? Getting at the heart of the matter, on equal terms. I like tacos; you agree, with attitude. It's on, taco-wise.

However, I can always tell when I've emailed someone who uses a Blackberry or Sidekick because I'll send them a 500-word email filled with dazzling subtleties, sharp wordplay, and complete emotional nakedness. Sometimes I'll even include a jazzed-up signature file with a memorable/inspirational quote, like, "Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?" --Randall Graves, CLERKS. Then, approximately 45 seconds after sending this epic missive out, I'll receive some variation of this response: "ok cool see you @ 9 -MG." Thanks, Blackberry, for keeping up your end of the relationship.