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Long-time readers are probably already familiar with my racist aunt. New readers may wish to read up on her as a prelude to this feature, in order to ensure 100% comprehension.

Recently, as an experiment, I placed a map of the United States of America (not including U.S. territories such as Puerto Rico and Guam, for fear that the resulting confusion would dismantle my experiment before it even began.) in front of my racist aunt, and asked her to tell me what she made of it. She was given full license to comment, and her knee-jerk reaction was encouraged over careful, diplomatic consideration. She was even permitted, if she desired, to re-divide the territories however she pleased. The links below are a visual record of this experiment. There are two distinct flavors:

Download a PDF file: this requires Adobe Acrobat Reader, which your computer surely already has. In the event that my hunch is incorrect, you can easily download and install the free reader at

View a giant GIF image: this solution is more immediate, though it will produce a file of both large physical dimensions and data size. Also, the fonts probably will be slightly less elegant than on the PDF version, I think. But be my guest, anyway.


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