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I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. As horribly cliché as I'm sure it will sound, I have been SWAMPED over here. That's the bad news. Now here's the good news.

Sniglets: The Motion Picture has finally gone into pre-pro. (oops. i mean "pre-production". sorry. i know it's been a long time since you were in c.h.u.d. II: bud the chud, so you might be a little soft on the industry lingo.) You might have already heard about some of the casting problems if you follow the movie fan-boy web sites but let me set the record straight. We NEVER promised the role of Professor John Snigglesworth to Breckin Meyer, no matter what his people are saying. It's absurd - between you and me, the kid looks like he's barely old enough to play one of the professor's students. We always had our hearts on someone a little more "distinguished". (again, that's hollywoodspeak for "old") Our first choice was Sir Ian McKellan but, as you probably already know unless you're actually living in Middle Earth, that motherfucker is very busy.

We lowered our expectations a bit and passed the script along to John Hurt - the poor man's McKellan - and went back and forth for what seemed like months. Apparently he's got some long-running gig doing voice-over for a kid's cartoon called Skull Duggery or some other such nonsense. He plays a gay field mouse who studies metallurgy - frankly, I'm not really sure of the details. The point is, Hurt is really serious about this thing. He kept referring to it as an antidote for the "twin cities of Lust and Avarice erected by the MTVs of the world". He was being really inflexible. In the end, it probably worked out better for us because I think the guy's getting very Christian or something.

That led to discussions with John Houseman (dead? maybe. didn't answer our calls.), William Hurt (at least he's a "hurt"), John Heard (close enough, if you ask me), Jennifer Hort (this was a stretch, admittedly), the guy from "Alf" (crackhead/porn addict - why doesn't anyone tell me these things?), and Punky Brewster's adopted grandfather. Finally, we settled on Don "The Dragon" Wilson. Before you flip out, you have got to see the test photos. With a little silver hairspray, some glasses, and a special blazer to narrow his shoulders a bit, this guy is Snigglesworth. If you ask me, we were very fortunate to get him between productions on his "Bloodfist" films.

In other news, the Sniglet Ray special effects are pretty spectacular. It's amazing what a 15 year-old kid with an iBook can do these days. I think you'll be impressed. I'm just glad everything is moving forward. Oh, one quick thing. Not a big deal. We just had a minor tweak to the script at the last minute and I wasn't able to tell you in time. Things got really crazy and, honestly, it wasn't such a big deal or you know I would have consulted you immediately. Right? The studio suits felt the character of Emily Snigglesworth needed some "modernization" re-working. (ha ha. you know how these guys can be.) She's still a Linguist Phd but now she's also a champion beach volleyball player and Tae Kwon Do expert. And she's no longer Professor Snigglesworth's niece; she's his bodyguard/romantic interest. Trust me - this is the kind of thing that tests really well. And the chemistry between Don and Heather Hunter is tops. (oh, did I tell you we had to re-cast that role? i know you had your heart set on lelee but she was just too "chaste", you know? and heather actually played volleyball in middle school before she dropped out. so again, lucky us.)

Hope this reaches you in good health. You're still keeping this P.O. Box at Mailboxes Etc., right? Anyway, we can catch up tonight when I see you at your show.

WE FIRST MET ON 09.17.2002

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