come home with me. we should get married.
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me and my big head. what happens if you click it?

 


This is recommended and relevant, relatively

this is where i live on myspace


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HOW TO LINK WITH CONVICTION.

Dear Internet,

You're welcome.

I'm sort of reluctant to say a lot about this site, so I'll try to choose my words carefully. Since this link was first passed to me, I've visited it nearly every single day. I've made other people watch the videos while I searched their expressions for signs of the special kind of joy I experience whenever I click around the site.

I think I find this site so fascinating because it's rare to see such a fully-formed character online, or anywhere. Obviously, I don't agree with most of his opinions in fact, I probably don't agree with any of them (apart from the stuff about Chinamen) but I like how completely on-message he remains throughout. He's monolithic in a tank top. (Which, coincidentally, is my favorite Pavement song.)

I sometimes hear his voice in my head, and sometimes it makes its way out of my mouth, as I scream, "THE BIG MAN IS ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE YA!!!!" to my cats, or into a bowl of Life cereal. I can't help myself. When a personality is this strong, it won't keep to itself.

His greatest gift, though, is the ability to come across so totally angry and reactionary and vulgar but, by the time he signs off if you make it that far you kind of love him. It's amazing what you can get away with if you've got a big, explosive laugh.

Personal favorites, from the "videos" page:
- The Price of Sex
- Moon Lots
- Anger in Me (if anyone can determine the source of his anger, i'd be very grateful for an answer.)
- The Mask (directed by ken russell)
- Steak Challenge
- Rap (a very good example of The Big Man's questionable teleprompter technique, and a very bad example of rap.)
- Old Time Names (here, The Big Man enjoys a joke at the expense of the world's eggplant population.)
- Sidekicks 2 (The Big Man is flanked by his staff.)

WE FIRST MET ON 11.21.2005

it's just a line; don't worry too much
read the archives, please. does that make me gay? meet the author, more or less. this is the email link you were perhaps looking for