I don't usually do this, but here is a special prize for those of you who are unable to attend this evening's show at the Gershwin Hotel. Below is my set list, which I will use to remember how to be funny tonight:
- Greetings/crowd work
- (come up with something funny to say about the state of delaware)
- Eatin' the Puss
- The history of tiered farming in Japan
- Gay proofreader
- Gay cardiologist
- John Wayne Bobbit (NOTE: need to retire this joke after tonight!)
- Teddy Grahams
- Polio
- Eatin' the Puss Pt. II
- Semen in my briefcase
- Jim Ignotowski at the UN Security Council
- Star spangled banner with farting
- Throw kerosene on front row
- Light match
- Laugh maniacally as flames lick the stage and devour the audience in a fiery hell
- Eatin' the Puss Pt. III - 1/2 price pussy buffet
Sorry you can't all be there, and I hope my set list doesn't make you resent what you'll be missing. Willard is in theaters now; you can always do that.
