I'm sorry to air personal problems here, but something is driving me crazy right now. My roommate is in Mummenschanz. Great, fine. I am very happy he's involved in the arts. I support that. I don't understand it most of the time, but I support it.

However, Schulmann, I hope you realize there are TWO OF US living under this roof. Forget that I sometimes find you terribly uncommunicative or too oblique most of the time. That's possibly my issue. And I'm not going to get into how frustratingly sudden your mood changes can be. One minute you're as happy and simple as can be; then, in a flash, it's like you've torn off that face to reveal a totally different person - a brooding cynic beneath. Maybe these pendulous mood changes inform your art, but as your roommate I can hardly follow you anymore. Are you mad at me? Are you laughing at me? Are you just being passive-aggressive because I created the chore board while you were on tour? I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.

Like I said before, some of these concerns may be coming from and ending with me and, if they are, I apologize if I seem too sensitive. But there are other things that trouble me and I think it would benefit our relationship if I just cut to the quick: Is it too much to ask you to replace the toilet paper once in a while? JESUS, Schulmann!!

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