new writing in long forma proper archive for this site


If nothing else, the Internet will forever be known as the place where people with nothing in common felt comfortable saying things to each other that they would have ordinarily withheld for fear of being punched in the throat. And the following dialogue is an excellent piece of supporting evidence for that statement.

Over two years ago, a man by the name of Mr. Tremble inquired about the ownership of He mentioned that he was interested using the domain as a genealogy forum, ostensibly to get in touch with other members of the mighty international Tremble family. I informed him, briefly and politely, that I was not interested in ceding rights to the domain. And that was that, until a couple weeks ago.

Owing either to short-term memory loss or latent ruthless ambition, Mr. Tremble made a recent comeback. This time his request for my domain was couched in a sort of mildly insulting passive-aggression. I responded in suit and our dialogue quickly escalated into a battle so massive, and so ruinous, historians will forever dub its publication here, "THE GREAT AMERICAN WEB CONTENT COP-OUT." And so will you.

[please note: this email exchange is reprinted in its original form, without concern for adjusting grammatical errors or inconsistencies. dumb mistakes remain just so.]


FROM: mr. tremble
What are you trying to convey in your site at since this is my name..!

Would you like to change it to some Genealogy forumn?

FROM: todd levin
mr. tremble,

i'm not sure what i'm trying to convey either. and, while tremble is your name, it's also a proper verb that's commonly used in the english language to indicate "involuntary shaking" or a "shaking movement associated with fear" and that's the way i'd prefer to keep it.

i do appreciate your request to turn tremble into a genealogy forum
but i'm not sure that's what i'd want to convey, frankly. i'd rather fill the sitewith silly words.

FROM: mr. tremble
Good Internet to You !

With regards to your web page
Well I wonder how many hits your really getting, and If you want to be silly, I can think of many other verbs to help you.

Since your a Nobel Prize winner, I suspect you can be silly some where else, and without the web placement fee....

Anyway, If you going somewhere with this.. I would really like to see what, and if you need help, I can send a person to help you
dress up your web page...and possibly make it usefull, for what ever reason you pursue..!!

FROM: todd levin
mr. tremble!!

why do you insist on taunting me, on reducing all i've accomplished? you've set such insidiuous traps to undermine my years of hard work on surely, being silly is not without its merits. (if you insist on calling my massive undertaking 'silly'.) think of all the joy a clown brings to children. or the sight of an obese woman falling into freshly poured concrete. or a ray stevens boxed set. consider for a moment the numbers or faces lit up by all things silly and then ask yourself, "am i not ashamed?"

for how many people will experience that kind of joy from your proposed genealogy forum, really? 500? 512? really, just a bunch of people who share your sir name. is that fair to the others? the non-trembles? the faceless men and women intentionally shut out from your self-absorbed plan to take over my domain? what of them? who will care for them, when the clowns have all gone to sleep or the fat ladies have all died of health complications associated with their morbid obesity. will you be their shepherd? or will you turn your nose up to them when you realize they do not bear the coveted Tremble Family Crest?

mr. tremble, i thought you were making innocent inquiries. now i see you are someone far more dangerous. "dress up" my web page indeed! and what would you have your "person" dress it up as? a jackbooted, goosestepping tremble-emblazoned enforcer for your personal, elitist dogma. i have your number, mr. tremble. (if that is your real name.) and you're not getting away with it. not as long as people (indicated by the over 13 million hits per month my site receives each week) need me. and even after they've abandoned me, as many of their emails suggest they will, you still won't get away with it.

unless you pay me $250,000 and promise to knight me into the tremble clan. and that's my final word on the matter.

FROM: mr. tremble

You must be off your Rocker, because re-read what I said... and re-read what you sent..... and you will agree that your a screw ball, and to indicate that I would pay 250 K for your nonsense.....Your really a Sorry Puppy for Brains...and that is why people are leaving your Thoughts behind...

Grow up, and get a real number...

FROM: todd levin
just fyi, Alan Tremble of Freeport, Maine, offered me 300 kajillion dollars for the tremble name. you are, i'm afraid, the man with a sorry puppy in your brain.

good day to you. and i suggest you change your name.

FROM: mr. tremble
Hey Todd...

Like I said , your a person that has lost many brains cells...., and
I'm sorry your the Poor puppy with a poor Sense of Decency,and humor and Your waisting your time, with a site like you have...that has no sense of what your trying to pull off....Your basically a Joke....!!

So far in the English language, there's no term such as kajillion ! So quit the B/s and Get a LIFE !!


and to this i said "checkmate!" and left mr. tremble, and his predilection for improper proper nouns and elipses, behind. some battles can be fought, but never won.

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2001 todd levin
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