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THE TREMBLE DIALOGUES.
[AVAILABLE SINCE: 19 AUGUST, 2001]
If nothing else, the Internet will forever be known as the place
where people with nothing in common felt comfortable saying things
to each other that they would have ordinarily withheld for fear
of being punched in the throat. And the following dialogue is
an excellent piece of supporting evidence for that statement.
Over two years ago, a man by the name of Mr. Tremble inquired
about the ownership of tremble.com. He mentioned that he was interested
using the domain as a genealogy forum, ostensibly to get in touch
with other members of the mighty international Tremble family.
I informed him, briefly and politely, that I was not interested
in ceding rights to the domain. And that was that, until a couple
weeks ago.
Owing either to short-term memory loss or latent ruthless ambition,
Mr. Tremble made a recent comeback. This time his request for
my domain was couched in a sort of mildly insulting passive-aggression.
I responded in suit and our dialogue quickly escalated into a
battle so massive, and so ruinous, historians will forever dub
its publication here, "THE GREAT AMERICAN WEB CONTENT COP-OUT."
And so will you.
[please note: this email exchange is reprinted in its original
form, without concern for adjusting grammatical errors or inconsistencies.
dumb mistakes remain just so.]
******
FROM: mr. tremble
SUBJECT: Tremble.com
What are you trying to convey in your site at tremble.com since
this is my name..!
Would you like to change it to some Genealogy forumn?
FROM: todd levin
mr. tremble,
i'm not sure what i'm trying to convey either. and, while tremble
is your name, it's also a proper verb that's commonly used in
the english language to indicate "involuntary shaking"
or a "shaking movement associated with fear" and that's
the way i'd prefer to keep it.
i do appreciate your request to turn tremble into a genealogy
forum
but i'm not sure that's what i'd want to convey, frankly. i'd
rather fill the sitewith silly words.
FROM: mr. tremble
Good Internet to You !
With regards to your web page TREMBLE.com
Well I wonder how many hits your really getting, and If you want
to be silly, I can think of many other verbs to help you.
Since your a Nobel Prize winner, I suspect you can be silly some
where else, and without the web placement fee....
Anyway, If you going somewhere with this.. I would really like
to see what, and if you need help, I can send a person to help
you
dress up your web page...and possibly make it usefull, for what
ever reason you pursue..!!
FROM: todd levin
mr. tremble!!
why do you insist on taunting me, on reducing all i've accomplished?
you've set such insidiuous traps to undermine my years of hard
work on tremble.com. surely, being silly is not without its merits.
(if you insist on calling my massive undertaking 'silly'.) think
of all the joy a clown brings to children. or the sight of an
obese woman falling into freshly poured concrete. or a ray stevens
boxed set. consider for a moment the numbers or faces lit up by
all things silly and then ask yourself, "am i not ashamed?"
for how many people will experience that kind of joy from your
proposed genealogy forum, really? 500? 512? really, just a bunch
of people who share your sir name. is that fair to the others?
the non-trembles? the faceless men and women intentionally shut
out from your self-absorbed plan to take over my domain? what
of them? who will care for them, when the clowns have all gone
to sleep or the fat ladies have all died of health complications
associated with their morbid obesity. will you be their shepherd?
or will you turn your nose up to them when you realize they do
not bear the coveted Tremble Family Crest?
mr. tremble, i thought you were making innocent inquiries. now
i see you are someone far more dangerous. "dress up"
my web page indeed! and what would you have your "person"
dress it up as? a jackbooted, goosestepping tremble-emblazoned
enforcer for your personal, elitist dogma. i have your number,
mr. tremble. (if that is your real name.) and you're not getting
away with it. not as long as people (indicated by the over 13
million hits per month my site receives each week) need me. and
even after they've abandoned me, as many of their emails suggest
they will, you still won't get away with it.
unless you pay me $250,000 and promise to knight me into the
tremble clan. and that's my final word on the matter.
.todd
FROM: mr. tremble
Todd.........
You must be off your Rocker, because re-read what I said... and
re-read what you sent..... and you will agree that your a screw
ball, and to indicate that I would pay 250 K for your nonsense.....Your
really a Sorry Puppy for Brains...and that is why people are leaving
your Thoughts behind...
Grow up, and get a real number...
FROM: todd levin
just fyi, Alan Tremble of Freeport, Maine, offered me 300 kajillion
dollars for the tremble name. you are, i'm afraid, the man with
a sorry puppy in your brain.
good day to you. and i suggest you change your name.
.todd
FROM: mr. tremble
Hey Todd...
Like I said , your a person that has lost many brains cells....,
and
I'm sorry your the Poor puppy with a poor Sense of Decency,and
humor and Your waisting your time, with a site like you have...that
has no sense of what your trying to pull off....Your basically
a Joke....!!
So far in the English language, there's no term such as kajillion
! So quit the B/s and Get a LIFE !!
******
and to this i said "checkmate!" and left mr. tremble,
and his predilection for improper proper nouns and elipses, behind.
some battles can be fought, but never won.
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